Thursday, March 4, 2010
A Letter to the Child of My Waiting Days
Straight from my heart,
Dear child of my waiting days,
I cannot remember a time in the last few years that I have not prayed for you, most times with tears in my eyes - begging God to let you come, to remove every impediment and make you perfect. Even when I was so sure you were on the way and after 24 weeks the journey was truncated, it made the desire to have you, hold you, love you more intense and the tears flow freely each time I pray. My prayers became desperate, giving God all the reasons I know to make you mine.
I only stopped asking for you in tears after I had an awesome experience through the song, "Yesterday" by MaryMary. The song really ministered to me that I need not cry as God knows my desire and my tears won't do a thing. He will still be God so all I need do is praise him for being God. But all through these times I never had a dream about you. Initially, my prayer was for one beautiful child, after the unfortunate incidence in January 2009, my prayers became a request for two. Yet I had no picture in my mind of what I wanted until now.
I saw you today when I had a wonderful dream about you and it was such an awesome experience - still don't understand how one can move from infanthood, to teenage years in one night - but that was what happened. The dream has given me confidence as I have an idea of what you look like. It has also secured a place in my heart for you more than ever before, and I know now that I want you more than ever.
If you ever get this letter, I hope you are looking forward to meeting me as I am waiting for you. However, in this waiting room, I am doing my best to deserve you and be the best mom you will be proud of.
I will surely write another letter to you till we see face to face in the flesh. I hope that won't be too far in the year. Be assured dh is also looking forward to meeting you and prays for you everyday.