Friday, January 22, 2010

Fear has Torment 1, 2 and Finally (A reprint)

The story you are about to read was first published as a facebook note in 3 parts in April 2009. I have not started blogging then but knew i wanted to write.

I almost broke out in sweats though the airconditioner was working full blast. I looked at the time and it was 12 midnight. Has he been awake all night or did he set an alarm? It wasn't my birthday, our anniversary or valentine. 'I love you' , he said and left the room. Why would my husband wake up at midnight just to say that? Is he leaving? Have i done something wrong? Or right? Did he have a dream or premonition of something? Am i dying?

How did i become so fearful just because of an endearing remark?
He left my side as the torrents of negative thoughts flooded my mind. Do i follow him and ask why he said he loves me. I heard the toilet flush and steeled myself for what's to come. He headed for the living room instead and moments later i heard music play as he began to worship and pray. Ha! I muttered, something must really be wrong?! I began to say prayers of my own then it struck me- DH just wanted 2 express his love for me. Why did i allow fear to paralyse me and stop me from enjoying the moment?
I didn't have the courage to join in the prayers but i waited patiently in the room. I realised then that everyone has a moment, when our defences are down and we are at our lowest point- at that point we lose our confidence and become helpless. I also concluded that such thoughts won't stop coming but i won't allow them spoil such sweet moments. As he walked in,

I stretched out my hand and whispered a hearty I love you too. Just then the alarm rang. 4.30a.m. Time to get up and face another day in Lagos.

1 comment:

  1. I agree with U. Fear has torments. Most times we become a victim through our thoughts. We must always remember that HE has not given us the Spirit of fear; but of Love; of Power & of Sound Mind. HIS thoughts towards us are not of evil; but to give us a Future & a Hope. Praise be to The Lord.